I’ve had a post in my draft box for months trying to do an update for Brody at 24 months! I have been so happy that I did these small monthly updates in the past as I like to refer back to them for various things and I know I will appreciate it even more when baby #2 comes along. Unfortunately, that post has stayed a draft and I have yet to complete it. But I am going to finish it soon!
I mention the above because my thoughts on Brody as a two year old are mostly amazing. It has been such a fun age as his little vocabularly has just blown me away and he has developed into this little person that is so fun to be around and for the most part, life is so much easier. Or at least that’s what I thought….
Until these last two weeks where it seems we’ve totally regressed in certain areas. All the sudden he’s crazy attached to his paci and blankie again which he is supposed to only have at nap time and bed time. He now wants to have them at all times and throws a fit when he can’t.
Then he’s totally changed his tune to diaper changes and getting dressed. Don’t get me wrong, those were a terrible struggle for what seemed like forever, but then he became completely happy to have his diaper changed (bringing me the diaper and wipes) and didn’t fight putting clothes on. That was until about two weeks ago. He’s back to kicking and screaming for every diaper change and doesn’t cooperate when trying to get him dressed.
Bath time has been a favorite of his until just recently. Now you would think we were throwing him in a -10 degree ice bath every night before bed. It’s not so much the bath itself he hates, it’s the act of going upstairs at night to get into the bath because he knows it means bedtime is around the corner.
The stall tactics are in full force. He wants to try and find anything he can to stall bed time… “Mickey pease”, “swing, swing”, “More books”, etc.
All of this seems to be him trying to express his own free will. He can understand and speak more now which seems to allow him some independence. He wants things his way. I now have to learn how to make sure things go my way. There are so many difficult stages throughout these kids lives starting at infant that make us question if what we are doing is right. So far, I’ve turned to my trusty girls at Moms on Call each time, and they have always led me in the right direction.
I will be taking this book to bed with me tonight and read it from cover to cover. I find that their style completely resonates with me and that’s what I’m looking for right now. I know I have a headstrong child and it’s my responsibility to show him boundaries. I need to decide on my game plan and be consistent. Consistency is key.
Please tell me what worked for you and your toddler(s). He goes from hot to cold in a matter of minutes and it blows my mind. One minute he is snuggled up being the sweetest two year old in the world and the next minute he is trying to get his way and has a complete meltdown when the answer is No. Mama’s worn out!!
Link up starts at 6am EST.
When Teague was a toddler we used to have to sit with out knees at his side and our body over him, like in a leg lock of sorts, to change his diaper. I completely understand this post! He's 5 know and luckily he can communicate even more (the hitting every time he is mad has almost stopped). I've heard Moms on Call is really popular but I haven't read it. I'm reading Parenting Your Spirited Child when a lot of people have said is a good read. It has helped me understand some aspects of Teague's character and how our personalities can bump heads. Please share anything that works for you. I feel KC following in her brother's footsteps.
Oh, Mama – you are not alone. We are dealing with this right now too with Caleb (who, like Brody, also just turned two). It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde in our house lately. Working on being consistent and incorporating discipline in more now that Caleb has started to grasp that his choices have consequences (ie not listening to Mommy will end in time out, as will being rough with sissy, etc). But oh, is it exhausting. Following through is a lot of work because toddlers do TEST those boundaries. Whew! Anyways, just thought you could use the support of knowing that we are going through it right now too!!! We will all be just fine – we can do this, mama!:)
I had to forward this post to my daugther because she is in the midst of the toddler, three year old nightmare too. Thought she would like to know she is not alone…neither are you! Been through it three times. It is the age, you probably know that, so best advice I'd give you, be consistent in your boundaries, begin the discipline process and continue to love on him even when you don't "feel" like it. They know how to wear us down those little bodies. Someone very wise way back when told me, "this is the age that you establish your authority as a parent." I have to say, that stuck with me ever since. Hang in there mama!!
oh my…. we babysat for our 3 year old nephew last night and I just about lost my shit on him. He does the same thing….so sweet one minute, then a little terror the next. Love him to death but man, is this age hard! Honestly, I really like how his parents deal with him. They take him up to his room and let him come down once he is calm and can apologize for being nasty. I do think removing them from that tense situation is the best thing. And it gives you a break to calm down too! Thinking about you mama!
I thought this was a good article about dealing with tantrums. Especially the part about understanding that a child is taught from the moment he is born that when he cries, mom and dad come running. The whole world revolves around them, but then suddenly it doesn't! No wonder they get frustrated! Plus, he probably senses the changes in your family dynamic with adding another little one! My niece did the same things right before her little brother was born. Just know you are doing your best, and it won't last forever!
If I had any ideas I would give them to you, but we are still going on strong with the tantrums at 3.5. Boys are VERY strong willed I have learned!
Oh I remember this age! I have a very strong willed boy. We had to do a lot of redirecting. If he started acting out I would say no we don't do that and try to distract with something else. It's such a hard age because they don't understand the why behind the no. I also noticed a little correlation with hunger and his attitude (he gets hangry like me lol). So I made sure to keep protein filled snacks with us. Some nights I would put him to bed feeling like the worst mother, but we survived and it's only a phase.
I can't offer any advice except to say misery loves company since we are right there with ya! Jack is super happy one minute and on the floor throwing a tantrum the next. Great eater a few weeks ago and now I'm happy if he eats a few bites of ANYTHING, nutritious or not, at dinner. It's so hard not to just give in sometimes (like Brody, Jack does the bath stalling tactics and is constantly asking me for juice or other things like sweets that we limit), but like someone else already said you so aren't alone! Consistency seems to be the key with us and keeping him on as close to his usual schedule as possible helps too. I try to redirect as much as I can rather than focusing on the issue of the moment. But oh those afternoon/early evening hours can really get to you…especially being pregnant!
Just remember the cliche "this too shall pass" — it will!!
first, i want to agree — you will be SO GLAD you did monthly updates. i did them for my first two and i reference them all the time. my #3 is 7 weeks old and it is CRAZY how much i forget!
second, i want you to know that it does get better. when my son was about your son's age my husband and i were desperate. we had no idea how or when to discipline, our son was acting out ALL THE TIME (it seemed) and we honestly thought we'd ruined him. (in the midst of it, i wrote this: http://www.thekriegers.org/2013/09/wait-until-your-father-gets-home/) now he's almost 4, and he definitely still has tantrums and needs discipline, etc., but it's just so much easier with an older child. and he's not QUITE so impulsive.
i really treasured the advice my doctor gave me which was:
1) the most important thing is consistency
2) in the midst of a tantrum, someone needs to be the adult and it's going to have to be you (ie, don't throw your own tantrum!)
3) you're probably doing much better than you think you are, so cut yourself some slack.
stay strong, mama. you aren't alone, and everything is a phase 🙂
The joys of having a toddler! Our youngest (we have 3 kids) just turned 3 so I completely understand what you mean. I wish I could say there is a magical answer but each child is so different. Having two older siblings helps tremendously in our case because many times she follows their lead. Time flies and they will be on to the next stage before you blink!
Good Luck!
Katey
http://www.twopeasinablog.com
I feel like I could have written this post too lately. My 20 month old has been a complete nightmare one minute and the most adorable snuggle-ready babe the next. She is a total Jekyll and Hyde. On Wednesday it took me 34 minutes (I wish I was exaggerating) to get her into her car seat. When I finally did, I sat in the seat next to her about to cry and she looked up at me and said "kiss mama". Hopefully we both get past this soon! I am glad I can comb through the comments and grab some ideas in the mean time!
Tori
http://www.becomingthewilkinsons.com
Although I don't have a toddler yet, I've heard great things about that book! Good luck girl and hopefully his stubborn phase will pass (but he sure is presh!! hehe) Happy weekend! xoxo
Brooks is the same way. The only advice I can give is to be consistent and patient. Let him get his tantrum out and then try to talk to him about his feelings. Brooks can get himself so worked up over something so trivial that he will make himself gag and vomit. I just try to get him to breathe and calm down before we talk. I have no idea if he truly understands what I am saying to him but he does get over it.