Working It Wednesday | All About Marriage

Today I wanted to join in with Erika and Shay for Working it Wednesday.  The topic this month is “how we work on our marriage.”  I loved this idea since February is the month of “love” and I thought it would be fun to read how others dedicate time, energy and thought into their everyday married life.

I’m certainly no expert at this, but one of my goals this year was to be more thoughtful in my marriage and carve out more quality time for my hubby.  Matt and I will have been together for ten years at the end of this year and married for 5.  Add in two wild kids and it’s easy to have less and less attention and energy to give to one another on a daily basis.  So, here are a few things we try to do to keep each other first:

Date Nights

I know this seems so obvious, but it really is something that has to be a priority.  I can’t tell you how often I feel like we hardly get two {uninterrupted} words into each other during a typical week night and it feels so good to have a night with just the two of us out to dinner and catch up.  We are pretty good about having one night a week where we have a babysitter.  Sometimes we go out just the two of us and sometimes we meet friends out for something fun.  Either way, it’s so nice to have some adult time.

Weekend Escapes

This almost goes hand and hand with date nights above, but I think it’s important to take it further.  I love a quick night or weekend getaway if we get the opportunity and I also believe in vacationing alone with your spouse.  We are very lucky to have grandmother’s close by that are amazing babysitters and have allowed us to travel in the past while they keep the kids. It’s so nice to have a few care-free days with hubby to just “date” again.  I think it helps couples reconnect and just have some fun together again without all the stress of every day life.  We try to plan one of these trips once a year.

Verbal Compliments

Let’s be honest.  Even after almost ten years together, it still feels great when hubby tells me I look beautiful before we’re headed out.  I love to get dressed up and go out, but the reality is that doesn’t happy every day.  It feels great to hear little compliments whether it’s about how I look, what a great Mom I’ve been or because I brought the garbage can in for him :). Like wise, it’s important for me to verbally express the same things.  I love it when he cooks breakfasts for us every weekend or takes the kids out for a few hours or unloads the dish washer.  It’s important that I let him know how much I appreciate it.  It’s easy to get complacent or feel like some of these things are just expected, but everyone loves an extra pat on the back from time to time.

Small Love Notes or Gestures

This one is just fun, but can really go along way.  I love to still flirt with my husband from time to time via text messages or drop him a silly or sweet card in the mail that he gets at his office.  They only take a few minutes to write, but can totally surprise him and make his day.  Another one of my favorite things which I don’t do near enough is just dropping little post-it notes messages for him at his bathroom sink, at his car, or on his morning coca-cola.  What better way to start the day with a big smile.  My husband happens to be an amazing card giver…he definitely learned it from his Mom and Dad and I love that about him.   I know that every card comes with lots of thought and way too many minutes in the card aisle.  Don’t cheap out on a good Hallmark card.  No gesture is too big or small.  I love a simple gesture from my spouse.

Lingerie

Yes, I’m totally going there.  Remember ladies, all those gifts you probably received on your bachelorette party??  Put them to good use from time to time.  Trust me, I know it is so easy to put my grandma pajamas on each and every night after wrangling the kids to bed and just being exhausted myself!  But it’s fun to put a little effort in from time to time and surprise the hubby.  Give it a try if you haven’t in awhile…

Mutual Respect

I leave you with this one.  Every relationship requires mutual respect.  I feel we both do this very well and continue to remember this.  We don’t try to control one another and we each accept one another for who we are.   We strive everyday to treat each other the way we would want to be treated.  Mutual respect is important in any relationship you have in life and I think it is one of the most essential.

So, I’m sure I’m missing something.  What do you do to help work on or improve your marriage from time to time??